What's the best way to avoid being asked for a dance by a specific girl from now on?

Discussion in 'Just Dance' started by Desidiosus Maximus, Jun 21, 2017.

  1. Here is the problem: I have bumped into a girl with bad attitude, and she keeps asking me for a dance (apparently because other guys in the club have already figured out what they are dealing with and are reluctant to ask her). By "bad attitude" I really mean a cocktail, not just one specific thing. Backleading, not being responsive to simple leads, stopping the dance and doing unsolicited coaching on the floor about my poor leading (!), rolling eyes, and so on). I can tolerate each of these things, but the mixture is just too much for me.

    Now this girls comes often to the club, so I fear she may ask me again next time we both are in the club, and I need to find a way to stop this from happening in future without being expressly rude.

    Any suggestions?

    Note that I want to avoid being asked for a dance. I know there are ways to avoid dancing with her like "I want to sit out one song", "I am sweating, dear. Let me go and grab a beer" and so on.

    Please note that I mean this serious, people. This is a serious thread. I know there are a lot of options available like stepping on her toes on every 1 (or 2, if that's better) or vomiting on her high-heel shoes, after which she will probably stop asking me, but my point is I wanna solve this issue without damaging my own reputation. Please help!
    Dissonant Harmony likes this.
  2. Peason

    Peason Son

    How about say "No thank you" each time she asks?
    She will get it eventually.
    Aurel and UchimaSalsa like this.
  3. Dissonant Harmony

    Dissonant Harmony Rhythm Deputy

    Have you considered he possibly that telling her that you prefer not to dance with her because it doesn't seem to work and doesn't feel fun - could actually be more respectful than dodging her?
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2017
    SnowDancer, Offbeat and wol like this.
  4. wol

    wol Sonero

    If she asks only once per evening, I would still dance and consider this a challange to make something out of impossible connection. If it is more offten, I would try to talk to her, like previous post suggested. If that still does not help, then saying "no" is always an option. Or you can just wait - people with bad attitudes usually dissapear from the scene fairly quickly even if it feels like forewer ...
  5. LarsM

    LarsM Nuevo Ritmo

    This is what I do with the 2-3 local followers I just don't want to dance with (for various reasons). It works. I don't really care if they think I'm being rude either.
  6. SnowDancer

    SnowDancer Clave Commander

    Honesty? Preposterous! :) Really, the first thing would be to ask her to stop doing one of those things that irritate you. Like, "I'd really prefer not to get or give criticism when we're dancing socially."
    wol and Dissonant Harmony like this.
  7. Offbeat

    Offbeat Maestro 'Fania' Pacheco

    You all appear to have first world dance leader's problems :p I have never turned down a follower. But I am very rarely in position of getting asked!

    To OP: Just tell the follower like it is - Like Dissonant Harmony (tough name to type, can you shorten it please :) ) you start by telling that it is not working out between two of us. I will go further and explain why it is not working out. And I will list all the reasons that you have listed. If I was in your place I would say "I think combination of your back leading, not listening to the lead and attempting to correct me on the social dance floor, simply is killing the dancing for me". Leave it at that.
    Dissonant Harmony likes this.
  8. nowhiteshoes

    nowhiteshoes Pattern Police

    Why make things difficult by telling it like it is? Just say no thanks instead, as suggested above.
    LarsM likes this.
  9. dahvee

    dahvee Sonero

    Just throwing this out there as another approach...

    If being direct with this person is off putting why not... be overly flirty to the point of being creepy :p. I see one of two thing happening either she starts to avoid you or you know :inlove".
    DJ Yuca likes this.
  10. Dissonant Harmony

    Dissonant Harmony Rhythm Deputy

    Just be grateful I did not go by Sinfonia Damnentia as I had originally planned to. :beaver:
    -You can call me 'Guy'. :p
  11. Enetheru

    Enetheru Son

    The people I know respect a straight talker. If done right, you might have an opportunity to increase your reputation. But it entirely depends on the personality dynamics between the two of you.
    In the end you cant please everyone with whatever approach you choose, so your first responsibility is for your own self respect.
    I have had rather good success with being tactful in an honest response, but timing and opportunity to do so is few and far between, so i usually opt for the bare minimum of consistently refusing the dance politely.
  12. Offbeat

    Offbeat Maestro 'Fania' Pacheco

    If it was to say no, thanks only once, it would work. But OP has indicated that the follower is persistent. In that case I think "No, Thanks" is a little bit of passive aggressive. If some follower were to tell me that two consecutive occasions, I would assume she doesn't want to dance with me. I won't ask her again ever, unless she resets it by asking me to dance. Personally I think it is always better to know the true reasons if my dancing were to bother someone that they simply don't want to dance with me.
  13. BMorin

    BMorin Son

    "No thank you, but thanks for asking."

    Don't go into why with her. 6-12 months from now you may change your mind.
    Dissonant Harmony and azana like this.
  14. nowhiteshoes

    nowhiteshoes Pattern Police

    'No chance' should do it :troll:
  15. salsamarty

    salsamarty Rhythm Deputy

    I've always used the two no's rule myself. However, I only ask once per night. Two no's on two separate nights means I won't ask again unless she asks me.

    I had one girl in Bangkok who would ask me to dance 3-4x per night. I don't really enjoy dancing with her but the problem was solved by my being a tourist and going o
    wol and Dissonant Harmony like this.
  16. Offbeat

    Offbeat Maestro 'Fania' Pacheco

    Same here.

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