Should I be upset and worried that my boy/girlfriend dances salsa with other people?

Discussion in 'Just Dance' started by MacMoto, May 7, 2014.

  1. meatythud

    meatythud Changui

    If someone dislikes the things in your life that make you happiest, they are probably not a good match for you, or you for them.
  2. Chris_Yannick

    Chris_Yannick Shine Officer

    I wholeheartedly agree with you.

    The salsa scene is just like the clubbing scene with the guise of being "more cultured". When it comes down to it, the salsa scene is not much different than a meat market. I'd like to think it's different, but the majority of people I know come to dance to find a partner (temporary and permanent). And why shouldn't they? The opportunity is there.

    I admit I have done things in the scene that I am not proud of (not nearly as bad as some others I know....). And I consider myself someone who respects people and their relationships, but yes, when you have people literally throwing themselves at you, those boundaries get crossed and get crossed often.

    In bigger cities, it may seem like salsa is less scummy than clubs, but you still have a huge percentage of people just looking to hook up.

    The Bachata/Kizomba and sensual dance scene is even worse. Don't tell me most people dance those dances because of the music. LOL. What a bunch of baloney.

    So no, you shouldn't be upset that your partner dances Salsa with other people, but when you have a bunch of young horny people together under one roof, I wouldn't turn a blind eye to it either. I don't trust people in the scene at all.

    Truly loyal partners will remain loyal no matter what. Those who are on the fence may only need a little bit of encouragement to be unfaithful. But it's up to you to decide what constitutes as cheating and being unfaithful.

    Your response is very eloquent, but I feel like I have to be quite honest about it and not sugar coat it.
    Last edited: May 8, 2017
    Smejmoon, Offbeat, wol and 1 other person like this.
  3. Hustler

    Hustler Changui

    What a fascinating thread this is. SO many of us have seen problems develop, where they otherwise would not have, and relationships destroyed for that matter.
    And yet so many people commented that there's no problems!
    elanimal and calichris10 like this.
  4. Dissonant Harmony

    Dissonant Harmony Rhythm Deputy

    It's only expected that men and women engaging in an activity that consists of meeting each other on a regular basis - may find particular interest in each other. It could be Salsa, for the matter, but it could be a weekly Origami workshop, or the nearest Chess Club just as well...

    -I did see relationships develop in the scene, some flourished, some didn't last,
    but I have yet to see, however, a healthy relationship ruined because one counterpart* was dancing and the other wasn't...


    *Is there an English word for one-part-of-a-pair?
    UchimaSalsa likes this.
  5. opm1s6

    opm1s6 Sabor Ambassador

    Years later my opinion on salsa and relationships hasn't changed. Bachata on the other hand....that is dangerous.
    SnowDancer likes this.
  6. sunsoul

    sunsoul Shine Officer

    Ultimately, if your girlfriend is getting 'hooked up' through salsa there is something wrong with the relationship not the salsa... (however spicy).
  7. LarsM

    LarsM Nuevo Ritmo

    Care to expand?
  8. opm1s6

    opm1s6 Sabor Ambassador

    Lots of people dance salsa because they love the music and because of the community. This is also true of bachata, however, this is how things get differentiated. Lots of people join the salsa scene and move to bachata because they want a more intimate experience without as much of the athletic requirements but also magnifying the flirtation. With this mindset, you're looking at temptations that get people in trouble.
    Bradley Frank and Chris_Yannick like this.
  9. LarsM

    LarsM Nuevo Ritmo

    I would agree with that.
  10. Chris_Yannick

    Chris_Yannick Shine Officer

    Kizomba rules in that regard. The barrier to entry is even lower than Bachata and is danced even more intimately.
  11. Aurel

    Aurel Sonero

    here I have to disagree, the bachata that is danced today is actually way more intimate than kizomba
    Marisha likes this.
  12. LarsM

    LarsM Nuevo Ritmo

    Depends on whether you're atually dancing kizomba or grinding to kizomba (or more likely, urban kiz) music imo.
  13. Marisha

    Marisha Descarga

    I disagree with you. I dance kizomba because I like music. Yesterday I had a lot of good dances. We were dancing, and that was all. So, it depends from people and a place.
    I have not seen that someone was throwing themselves at someone. o_O
  14. Chris_Yannick

    Chris_Yannick Shine Officer

    I mean in Europe where I currently reside. Crazy things happen here. Originally, I am from Toronto and was dancing there for many years. Believe me, that kind of thing also happens in Toronto. You just don't know about it or aren't around the right (or wrong) people.
  15. Marisha

    Marisha Descarga

    I notice that only in Rancho. If you are from Toronto, you know this place. This is a real meat market. I do not like that.
  16. Chris_Yannick

    Chris_Yannick Shine Officer

    Yes, I know Rancho. Wasn't as bad as it's next door neighbor, Plaza Flamingo but this was when it was still mostly salsa/merengue/reggaeton. Not even sure what is going on there now.
  17. Marisha

    Marisha Descarga

    I do not know about this place. :)
  18. Offbeat

    Offbeat Maestro 'Fania' Pacheco

    That may seem logical. In my limited experience there are more hook ups in salsa than bachata. It comes down to numbers. The players and those who are out looking actively to hookup thrive and like room with more people irrespective of what they dance or not dance. Those who get involved and develop relationship with someone is no different than other activities. I think very nature of salsa dancing (and by extension bachata, kizomba, etc) and atmosphere surrounding it, tends to be a magnet for players and hookup types.
    SnowDancer likes this.
  19. Offbeat

    Offbeat Maestro 'Fania' Pacheco

    Which is no different than any other meat market. All it takes for a meat market to develop, is for a critical mass of people( i.e sufficiently large number of people), enough people wanting to hookup and opportunity. I recall reading about how the last Olympics in Brazil was quite a meat market with a lot of hooking up going amongst athletes. Not that it didn't happen in previous Olympics. Just that hooking up and its prevelance is more acceptable in current times than anytime before across the globe.

    At end of the day it comes down to an individual and his/her values.
  20. manzanadulce

    manzanadulce Sonero

    We would probably say “other half”. Although not sure if that works in the context you want it for...
    Dissonant Harmony likes this.

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