After dancing for over 15 years, taking classes and private lessons, going to clubs, socials and congresses, I've come up with these personal rules to make sure I have fun every night I go out dancing. First of all is preparation. I review things I want to work on or perfect, shower, clean clothes, and breath mints. I smile and say hi when I get to the venue. I'm there to dance and not play social games, drama, or entitlement. Because I travel a lot, I'm often a new and unknown leader. I understand a bit of the follows perspective in being cautious about new leaders for fear of getting jerked around or creeped out, and wanting to check things out first. However, I'm not a mind reader. If a follow wants to check me out and refuses my first offer, in my mind the burden is on the follow to ask me, not for me to second guess the reasons. If I guess wrong or misread the subtle social signals, I start collecting rejections and my fun factor goes down. A no or no thank you tells me you aren't interested in dancing with me and I won't bother to ask again. I really don't care about the reason. An I'm tired and then two seconds later dancing, sorry no more asks. I'm tired and sitting out, I'll re-ask. I'm taking a break, I'll re-ask. A not right now, I'll re-ask. I try to dance with every follow at least one salsa and one bachata. When I run out of partners or fill my dance card, I go home. I will dance with one of the follows on my do not ask list if they ask, but hovering around me hoping I'll ask doesn't work. I'm sure I miss some good follows but I'm there to dance and have fun and not stress about why or why not someone wants or doesn't want to dance with me. I won't torture myself wondering if I should ask again. No me importa.