Boner in bachata (or kizomba)

Discussion in 'Salser@s Anonymous' started by Burritos, Jun 3, 2014.

  1. Burritos

    Burritos Changui

    Hello, I need some opinions from women as well from men. I started to dance bachata sometime ago. Sometimes when I invite some nice looking girl I get boner from dancing with her. In salsa it`s ok because there is distance but lots of people in my town dance bachata pretty close. My questions are:


    1) Girls what do you think about guys who are having boner while dancing with you? Do you feel uncomfortable because of it? (I guess yes) Would you agree to dance with that guy next time he invites?

    2) If I get boner do I need to immediately go off from close position or stay there like everything is OK


    This applies not only to bachata but to every dance where is close body contact (kizomba for example) and partners feel each other very good. I know these questions might sound a bit vulgar but it`s not a trolling or something. This problem does exist.
     
    #1
    nowhiteshoes likes this.
  2. timberamayor

    timberamayor El Sabroso de Conguero

    Feel uncomfortable and will move away from him. Will notr dnace with him againn.

    My advice. You feel a boner coming on, back off before the girl notices or you will get a reputation as a perv.
     
    MacMoto likes this.
  3. Thornado

    Thornado Changui

  4. Burritos

    Burritos Changui

    Thanks for video, didn`t knew about this one
     
  5. ColdSalsero

    ColdSalsero Shine Officer

    I was just about to post that video too ;)
     
  6. ColdSalsero

    ColdSalsero Shine Officer

    Personally, I wouldn't dance closed position with a girl while aroused, for the same reason I wouldn't grind with someone while overly-excited: it's just fundamentally gross to be rubbing your genitalia against someone else's body.
     
  7. Aurel

    Aurel Son Montuno

    Starting with "sensual" dances for an socially deprived guy can be a little bit though. The looks, smell, body of a nice woman can be a real turn on and if you are shy, you can get easily aroused. Since you mentioned that you have this problem even salsa, it tells me that you are one of those guys...

    The good thing - you will get used to close body contact and with enough time and dancing it will cease to be a problem.

    Until then, yes, you should immediately back off and keep distance. In addition, you should really work on your dancing, because in bachata and even in kizomba it is not okay to grind, so either you or your dance partners, are dancing it wrong.
     
    Sabrosura likes this.
  8. nowhiteshoes

    nowhiteshoes Pattern Police

    Dance with ugly women :troll:
     
    Platypus, tgharib and Al Israel like this.
  9. calichris10

    calichris10 Sabor Ambassador

    Its such a natural reaction for a guy...For me It totally depends on the guy and how he responds. As long as a guy is not being a slime-ball and deliberately rubbing it on me I wouldn't really think twice about it. But I think the above advice is good advice...if you feel one coming on back off cause you don't want the reputation of the "creepy boner dude". And you might offend or scare a more naive or reserved woman.
    For the record it is not just in Bachata and you don't necessarily need to be grinding..I have felt them in salsas also.
     
    Smejmoon likes this.
  10. Aurel

    Aurel Son Montuno

    Agreed, it is completely natural. Just don't be a d*ck (pun intended), show some respect to your dance partner and create enough distance so that you do not deliberately rub your partner with it. No need to talk or do anything else about it. Just be a decent human being. If you do that and the woman is also a decent human being, she will understand that it is a part of your natural body physiology and that you can't really stop it on command.
     
    Smejmoon and calichris10 like this.
  11. Ron Snijders

    Ron Snijders Tumbao

    This hasn't happened to me yet. Perhaps it has something to do with my being more stressed and apologetic than aroused while dancing bachata. But after reading this thread, I just know that I'll suddenly think of it and have it happen when I least expect it :p
     
    ColdSalsero likes this.
  12. MacMoto

    MacMoto Administrator Staff Member

    That's why god invented dominican style :D
     
  13. ColdSalsero

    ColdSalsero Shine Officer

    I've actually had this happen due to nervousness. Because of the increase in blood pressure, I guess :/
     
  14. Ron Obvious

    Ron Obvious Shine Officer

    Make it a habit of dancing with a banana in your pocket, then when this happens you can just remove the banana and eat it. The banana is also a very good meal for having between salsa classes.
     
  15. Ron Obvious

    Ron Obvious Shine Officer

    Here is more material on the same topic:



    I think the overall point is to never admit it, whatever you do :)
     
  16. vit

    vit Clave Commander

    Some kizomba instructors also eat bananas between the classes (Petchu for instance)
     
  17. Thanks to my SF colleagues and the enlightening video I now know how to handle a bachata boner...
     
  18. ColdSalsero

    ColdSalsero Shine Officer

    OMG that is an awesome username, I'm jealous! :D
     
  19. BullitproofSoul

    BullitproofSoul Shine Officer

    Goodness. Despite being a healthy, sensual person, this has never happened to me.

    My first response is - congratulations: if one has to choose between a manhood that works too well and one that doesn't work well enough, always choose one that works too well. :cool:

    My second response is: perhaps the person struggling with this is thinking about Salsa all the wrong way. I have about as much of a chance as having "one of those" while doing latin dances as I do as having one during playing basketball or dominos. That is to say: I view dancing as more of a sport, or perhaps a game -- an athletic activity that I am striving to do well. I'm too focused on doing my best and making sure my partner has a good time to have that happen. It isn't sex. It isn't foreplay. There's probably very little romantic going on, usually. Its a fun, innocent activity.
     
    MAMBO_CEC likes this.
  20. Desafinado

    Desafinado Tumbao

    Ah... to all the sexy ladies: I apologize if I do, and I apologize if I don't.
     
    Platypus, vit and Salsaurus Mex like this.

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