Salsa Anxiety

Last spring, I attended a salsa festival and was immediately hooked. I began taking classes a few weeks later and am currently taking four classes from two different instructors. But it's been a bumpy ride.

Learning the basics was easy enough, but learning more complex partnering moves is another story. I took a "Salsa Bootcamp" from the infamous Edie "The Salsa Freak." It was such a cool experience, about half dance and half philosophy.

Anyway, she always said that men have a harder time learning dance than women, and I believe it. It seems like my brain just can't process things a teacher demonstrates. I can learn it, but only after I've seen and tried a move several times. I almost need one-on-one help sometimes.

I've always been shy about talking to women, but that's no big deal, really. That's one reason some of us get into social dancing - to pick up social skills and meet people. I figured I'd feel more confident after I became a better dancer and learned all the social skills that go with salsa.

Ironically, things seem to be going in the opposite direction. The more classes I take, the more insecure, almost paranoid, I feel.

When I attend dances, I always arrive early for the drop-in class, which gives me a chance to dance with other students. After the class, I try to dance with one or two fellow students before the wolves - the better dancers who show up every night - swoop in.

I NEVER ask a woman who knows how to dance salsa to dance, because it's too humiliating. Even rank beginners don't want to dance with another beginner after they've danced with a good dancer.

Once I asked a lady to dance, and she said no. I then overheard her telling her friend that she was waiting for a chance to dance with some guy - one of the regulars - who's a really smooth dancer.

One thing that freaks me out is the fact that I just don't get it. I don't really know how to ask someone to dance - or how to dance with them. It seems like you almost have to interview a prospective dance partner... "How long have you been dancing salsa? What level are you - beginner, intermediate or advanced?"

If she's advanced, then I should say, "Sorry, you're too good for me." If she's on my level, then I feel like I should ask one more question: "What would you like me to do? Do you like lots of turns, cumbia or anything in particular? Do you want to dance On 1, or would you prefer to dance cumbia (which I don't really get)? Would you like me to release you, so you can do your own thing? If so, when should I let go - I don't really have much training in musicality. And how long should I let you do your 'shines' before I take your hand again?"

Of course, there isn't enough time between songs for an interview, and the background noise is too loud for a good conversation, anyway. So I sit there wondering how the H*ll people connect.

The irony is that I haven't figured out yet if I even enjoy salsa. I generally enjoy classes, but every time I dance, I'm under so much pressure to not make a mistake and not look like a jerk, it becomes more of an ordeal. If I dance with someone, and she seems bored or irritated, it pretty much ruins the night for me.

In fact, over the last six months, I recall just two dances that I really enjoyed. One was with a complete beginner. Dancing with her just felt "natural." She didn't seem terribly interested in learning salsa, but she wasn't completely out of it, either. We just enjoyed a nice, simple dance, and she seemed really sweet.

More recently, I danced with another beginner. (Actually, I think she had danced a little salsa before.) I did some cross body leads and simple turns. Then I suddenly remembered a simple trick I had recently learned: On count 3 of my basic, I pushed her away from me slightly with my left hand, then I stepped towards her on 4 and turned her to the right on 5 and 6 - sort of like dancing cumbia.

She seemed to like that. In fact, she danced with no one else except her boyfriend the rest of the night.

In the meantime, I'm taking classes from two awesome teachers. But I often have a hard time keeping up with the class. When we rotate partners, then practice an advanced move, I often flake out and completely blow it. It makes me feel so bad, because I know my partner isn't paying money for a class so she can stand there and watch my brain unravel. It's very embarrassing.

So I came up with two plans.

Plan A - I bought a digital camera, so I can take videos, and scheduled a private lesson. I told the teacher the first thing I want to work on is the routine we're going to learn in the NEXT class, so I'll be prepared. I also hope to take some private lessons with another teacher, tackling one routine at a time and really learning it.

Plan B - If I still can't get it together, then I'm either going to give up on salsa, or just stick to the basics. I'll just continue taking drop-in classes, asking fellow students to dance after the lesson, then focusing on the basics: cross body leads, very simple turns, cumbia, etc., hoping to eventually meet a partner. Then we can both take classes, learning salsa together.

Have any of you had similar experiences? I know I'm not alone, because I've seen people who are worse dancers than me in almost every class. In fact, a few people drop out of almost every class, for one reason or other. I've actually been complimented on my basic and "solid lead," by students and teachers alike.

It's just the advanced partnering moves and social skills that mystify me.

Everyone here has gone through beginners salsa anxiety. You've done a great job describing it. My advice is to pick your dance partners mostly from your classes. You will occasionally find someone who is about at your level and learning at your pace and who is willing to "work at it" outside of class. They become your regulars. They will always say yes when you dance and this will build your confidence. At your socials or clubs watch the other dancers and pick partners who appear to be friendly and are there to dance and have fun.

In my case I was learning with my wife so I always had a willing partner to start with. Lucky for us we learned about the same pace. However, I eventually had to learn to dance with other people so I went through the same anxiety you are going through. I can remember those days like it was yesterday.

Find a teacher who is patient and continue taking classes. Take notes. Take and watch videos. Listen to the music a lot. Also, I hope you LOVE the music because I think it is essential to be drawn to the music you aspire to dance to. Not to scare you are anything but it was a year before my wife and I felt confident to go to clubs and a while longer before we felt we had regular "other" partners. How long you stick with it depends on what is motivating you. I just look around at how much fun people are having and I can see that the endpoint is worth the time and effort. I've reached a point now that not only have I gotten past the anxiety but I go out to dance for relaxation from the stress.

salsamarty said:

Also, I hope you LOVE the music because I think it is essential to be drawn to the music you aspire to dance to.

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LOL - The answer to that is YES and NO. I love salsa music in general, but the local DJ's play few individual songs that really inspire me. I've been downloading Latin music via iTunes for about a year now, learning as much about it as I can. I've never heard a local DJ play one of my Top Ten favorites until just last weekend, when a DJ played Vivir Lo Nuestro during a drop-in class.

salsamarty said:

Not to scare you are anything but it was a year before my wife and I felt confident to go to clubs and a while longer before we felt we had regular "other" partners.

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Wow, that's so amazing - cool and scary at the same time. It's cool that people are willing to work that hard to learn salsa. On the other hand, I want to avoid the fate of people who are so addicted to salsa, they have to have a partner who is also into salsa. Then again, if I found a partner who wasn't into salsa - and had no desire to learn - then I'd have to give up salsa. Catch-22.

I remember hearing a story about some Latino in LA who spent two years taking salsa classes before he hit a club. The first lady he asked to dance said no, and he was devastated.

Of course, I'm being too serious here. The vast majority of people I watch dancing salsa enjoy themselves, and I think it's probably a pretty good way to meet people. I'm pretty confident things will improve now that I have a digital camera and a couple private lessons scheduled.

You wrote some stuff that rang a lot of bells with me. The bit about not being able to pick up the moves as they start to get more complex, feeling it is going over your head, that the brain isn't processing it, having to go with through them at your own speed, in your own time, learning them through moving your own body over and over again - it is just the same for me. I can't do the moves, and everyone around me seems to pick them up quite quickly as the class goes on, through watching the teacher. I can only learn through action, and repetition, repetition, and it is a very slow process. The class always shoots off beyond me.

I do wonder if you are left-handed? I see a lot of this as being symptomatic of right-brained people. They often can't pick up the structure of the steps so easily, and it only becomes ingrained in them through movement and repetition. Isolating the moves, and going through it all slowly.

I understand your point about the music too. Again, I wonder if that is to do with a right-brained approach as well. If I can feel the music, and the strong rhythm, then I can dance, but a lot of the time it really is a struggle for me to get going as the music slows down, and becomes more technical.

I think you are probably doing fine really, the dancing anxiety is natural. As you go to classes, I am sure you will make some friends, and start dancing with a few people regularly, as you get to know your classmates better.

Keep at it!

Salsa Bear said:

Learning the basics was easy enough, but learning more complex partnering moves is another story. I took a "Salsa Bootcamp" from the infamous Edie "The Salsa Freak." It was such a cool experience, about half dance and half philosophy.

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I think you might just be experience 'Beginners Hell', which everybody of us went through. If you haven't read about it, then take a look at the following page from Edie TSF where she describes it:

http://www.salsastories.com/stories_a-b/beginners_hell.html

Salsa Bear said:

Ironically, things seem to be going in the opposite direction. The more classes I take, the more insecure, almost paranoid, I feel.

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I would then suggest to take less class. It will lower your insecurity and more importantly, you can focus all your attention on really learning the new combination.

Salsa Bear said:

I NEVER ask a woman who knows how to dance salsa to dance, because it's too humiliating. Even rank beginners don't want to dance with another beginner after they've danced with a good dancer.

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I wouldn't say that there's any humilation for a beginner to ask others to dance, except if you can't keep your timing. Ladies often don't care how many moves you got or how many times you repeat a move. So I would suggest to start asking ladies and practice your skills, because your improvement is also dependent on how much social dancing you do.

Additionally, take a look at the thread when you were a beginner, that one of our members (acpjr) started about two years ago.

Salsa Bear said:

One thing that freaks me out is the fact that I just don't get it. I don't really know how to ask someone to dance - or how to dance with them. It seems like you almost have to interview a prospective dance partner... "How long have you been dancing salsa? What level are you - beginner, intermediate or advanced?"

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There's no need for any interview when you want to ask. A simple "Would you like to dance" or often holding out your hand to a lady is enough to ask her and then lead her to a spot on the dancefloor. Additionally you might only ask her about "on1, on2 or cuban" to make sure she can follow your lead.

Salsa Bear said:

The irony is that I haven't figured out yet if I even enjoy salsa. I generally enjoy classes, but every time I dance, I'm under so much pressure to not make a mistake and not look like a jerk, it becomes more of an ordeal. If I dance with someone, and she seems bored or irritated, it pretty much ruins the night for me.

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I would first suggest to not put so much pressure on your. We all make mistakes and even advanced and pro dancers make mistake, but they are simply often not very obvious as they learned how to cover them. In case of a beginner like you, they are simply more obvious. Also it's in my opinion rather normal that as a beginner your movement will look rather stiff compared to the smooth movement, that comes with experience and trained muscle memory. And last but not least, don't try to interpret too much into the facial expression of the ladies. She might still be enjoying the dance, but just be not that much of a smiling person. Also, do you smile and give an impression of enjoying the dance?

Salsa Bear said:

Have any of you had similar experiences? I know I'm not alone, because I've seen people who are worse dancers than me in almost every class. In fact, a few people drop out of almost every class, for one reason or other. I've actually been complimented on my basic and "solid lead," by students and teachers alike.

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That sounds to me like a good basis to build on. But then I would suggest to not focus on the advanced combinations and moves, but first go for the simple combinations and moves. Ladies will enjoy them as well and they'll help you build a good repertoire. And they'll allow you to start social dancing with any lady instead of sitting around.

Salsa Bear said:

Last spring, I attended a salsa festival and was immediately hooked. I began taking classes a few weeks later and am currently taking four classes from two different instructors. But it's been a bumpy ride..

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Beyond the normal beginner's hurdles that most of us go through, here is what I detect based on what you wrote:

1. Analysis paralysis
2. Performance anxiety

Solution to #1: Instead of crowding your head with dozen things you learn in classes, choose 2 or 3 steps that you think you can do well. Go out and dance. Dance only 2 or 3 steps till you have them down (e.g. CBL and inside turn only). When you're comfortable add one more and build up slowly.

Solution to #2: This is hard, it is in your head. You have to change, both your thinking and perception. You can't overnight become a good dancer but something you can do is be pleasant and cheerful in the club. Generally people like dancing more with "likable" people than with "better" dancers. What others (watchers and/or partners) will think, will then tell others how terrible dancer I am, etc are mostly demons in our own mind. Look who you watch. Do you watch good dancers or do you watch terrible beginners? Former is more likely.

If you have read other threads here you will see this getting mentioned over and over again - don't worry about pattern/moves vocabulary. They are only 10% of good dancer's skills. Concentrate on remaining 90%.

General solution: If you can, find a practice partner. Practice few times a week. You mentioned private lessons. How many have you taken yet?

Well like everyone else has said, the tough times are part of the game. We all have gone through what you are going through at some point. Just stick with it and you'll reap great reward. I remember when people used to say that to me and I'd grumble "they'd better be right" whenever I had a hard night (which was most of the time). At one point it was the only thing that stopped me from quitting, but now I see what they were talking about and I'm glad they said it to me.

Salsa Bear said:

Last spring, I attended a salsa festival and was immediately hooked. I began taking classes a few weeks later and am currently taking four classes from two different instructors. But it's been a bumpy ride.

Anyway, she always said that men have a harder time learning dance than women, and I believe it. It seems like my brain just can't process things a teacher demonstrates. I can learn it, but only after I've seen and tried a move several times. I almost need one-on-one help sometimes.

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Honestly it sounds like you're over-doing it a bit. I remember when I was at about 6 mos experience I had to stop learning moves for a while to give my brain a chance to catch up with the ones I already knew. Granted, I was mostly learning moves from friends and youtube instead of instructors in actual classes at that point, but I still think scaling back a little bit will help. Learn to work with what you have, then worry about adding on later.

I've always been shy about talking to women, but that's no big deal, really. That's one reason some of us get into social dancing - to pick up social skills and meet people. I figured I'd feel more confident after I became a better dancer and learned all the social skills that go with salsa.

Ironically, things seem to be going in the opposite direction. The more classes I take, the more insecure, almost paranoid, I feel.

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Stay with it and this phase will pass. I'm really shy too, and I had a heck of a time even asking ladies to dance at first. My advice is to keep it about the dancing, don't worry too much about the social stuff right now. Realize that you're not going to get any good by being scared and not approaching anyone. Realize that every dance means improvement, even if it doesn't feel like it. Do what you have to do to get better, and the confidence will come to you. Once you're confident in your dancing you'll probably be ok socially as well.

When I attend dances, I always arrive early for the drop-in class, which gives me a chance to dance with other students. After the class, I try to dance with one or two fellow students before the wolves - the better dancers who show up every night - swoop in.

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Sound strategy.

I NEVER ask a woman who knows how to dance salsa to dance, because it's too humiliating. Even rank beginners don't want to dance with another beginner after they've danced with a good dancer.

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The phoenix can't rise from the ashes until it dies in the first place. You're just going to have to deal with the humiliation for a while; everyone does unless they quit. I know it's easier to say than do, but ask more ladies to dance. Just go ask, I promise it won't kill you. You need the reps. The more you do this, the faster you'll get to a point where you feel competent. Some will say no, but guess what: when you get good, some will say no then too.

One thing that freaks me out is the fact that I just don't get it. I don't really know how to ask someone to dance - or how to dance with them. It seems like you almost have to interview a prospective dance partner... "How long have you been dancing salsa? What level are you - beginner, intermediate or advanced?"
[...]

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You're waaay overthinking this. Here's what you do: say "would you like to dance?" If she says yes and you're worried about the fact that you're a beginner, then say "I'm a beginner so go easy on me ok?" Then you get out there and do your best. That's it. By the way, the "interview" that you mentioned takes place on the dance floor through the connection between you and your partner. The first part of the dance is generally a calibration period where you find your partner's level and adjust from there. You find out likes and dislikes from reading reactions to what you do. These are things that will come to you with time, and when you're ready you'll understand. Don't worry about it for now.

The irony is that I haven't figured out yet if I even enjoy salsa. I generally enjoy classes, but every time I dance, I'm under so much pressure to not make a mistake and not look like a jerk, it becomes more of an ordeal. If I dance with someone, and she seems bored or irritated, it pretty much ruins the night for me.

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I freely admit that it took me over a year to enjoy salsa. At times I actually hated it. This too will pass. Try to stop putting so much pressure on yourself and realize it's just one of those things you have to struggle with for a while before it all snaps into place. And believe me, one day it will all just snap into place and you'll finally feel like you can relax. Stay the course.

Have any of you had similar experiences? I know I'm not alone, because I've seen people who are worse dancers than me in almost every class. In fact, a few people drop out of almost every class, for one reason or other. I've actually been complimented on my basic and "solid lead," by students and teachers alike.

It's just the advanced partnering moves and social skills that mystify me.

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Again, I do think you should scale it back some. Sounds like the anxiety here just comes from your knowing all these things that you're supposed to do and not being able to do them yet. You just need time for your physical abilities to catch up with your knowledge. I'll also add that when you feel overwhelmed in class, just step back and take a deep breath. Getting flustered and freaking out isn't going to help you learn that stuff. Stay in control. You can do it. Allow yourself to believe in yourself. By the way, if you think the social stuff is mystifying now, just wait until you're a better dancer. It's a whole new ballgame...and you'll wish it were as simple as it is right now haha.

Listening to a lot of salsa music is very good. This is because you can take this time to make sure you can find and count the beat. This is something you can do on your own. Probably the thing that bothers followers the most is when the leader can't keep the beat. At first you just want to be able to find and keep up with the quick-quick-slow beat. If you can find the 1 (or the 2) all the better.

As Offbeat said, being able to do a few simple patterns very well works best in the beginning. You can add others slowly with time. Remember that when you are learning a more complex pattern in a class that sometimes you can make use of just part of the pattern. Sticking to a few simple patterns can also be an opportunity to add some styling which may be more impressive than complex patterns.

As others have already pointed out, this is the typical beginner's hell every leader has to go through. You are not alone - it may feel that way, but you are not. Even the best dancers had to start as a beginner, and started the way just like you did. It takes time and a lot of work, but it will get easier. There will come a point where things come together and dancing gets easier. And the more you dance, the quicker you will reach that point. I know you feel intimidated to ask girls to dance, but if you don't do it, it won't get any better. You need put in a certain amount of time on the dancefloor. Don't worry about women being better than you - just ask.

Some tips:
- Attend pre-club classes and ask the girls in the class to dance (as you already do, which is good). Ask as many of these women as possible. Don't worry if the new moves you've just learned don't work - that's normal. You haven't practised them, so it's bound to feel awkward. Keep practising.

- Four classes per week is quite a lot. You may actually benefit from reducing the number and spend more time practising the moves you've already learned. Taking private lessons is a good idea.

- Make friends at the salsa classes/venues you go to - after a while you recognise who turn up there regularly. You don't have to try to dazzle them with your personality or anything. Just say hello, give them your name, ask for theirs (and try to remember - I'm actually rubbish at this ), tell them you've taken up salsa recently and finding it difficult... talk to both men and women.

- Ask women of all levels, not just beginners. I know about the intimidation factor, but advanced women are generally much easier to lead. Also, ask women of all ages, races and appearances (women do notice guys who only ask cute chicks :roll.

- If you are worried about boring the poor women, just tell them when you ask that you are a beginner trying to learn - give them the chance to say no. There are plenty of salsa angels out there who are happy to help beginner leaders.

- If you do find those salsa angels, *don't* keep going back and sking for more dances on the same night. That way you risk outstaying your welcome. If someone you've already danced with asks you to dance again, by all means go ahead (and rejoyce ), but otherwise, aim to dance with as many women as possible for just once per night.

- If girls say no, don't take it personally. It's not about you. And all the other guys at the club have gone through the same thing, even the best ones. It's just like a rite of passage in salsa.

Good luck!

Thanks for all the tips. Fortunately, I can at least keep the beat and do a simple basic.

However, I once thought I had trouble keeping the beat - until I learned that the beat changes in some salsa songs. That really exasperated me.

Anyway, this weekend has turned into a bust - the Halloween effect, but several local teachers are offering some workshops next weekend, and the Seattle Salsa Congress is happening during Thanksgiving weekend.

I've also bought a digital camera, so I can take videos. Hopefully, I'll have figured out how it works by tomorrow.

Beware of Salsa Congresses. There have been previous discussion threads as to the value of Salsa Congresses for beginners. Don't go with high hopes that you will learn anything to improve your dancing. The workshops tend to go very fast and are typically at a high level even if they are billed as beginner level. You will meet lots of new people who are passionate about salsa. The San Francisco Salsa Congress starts in a couple of weeks. I'm attending a History of Salsa workshop one afternoon but I don't intend on attending the dance workshops. I'll go in the evening to see the dance performances and for the social dance. We are going to have some great music and I like the opportunity to dance with a whole new crowd of people from out of town.

salsamarty said:

Beware of Salsa Congresses. There have been previous discussion threads as to the value of Salsa Congresses for beginners.

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Actually, a recent Seattle Salsa Festival only worsened my Salsa Anxiety. I LOVED the Cha Cha workshop, which I could follow fairly well. The bachata workshop was much harder. Though it seemed really simple, I was floundering.

But the worst workshop was called something like "Protecting Your Partner." I thought it sounded like a cool idea, so I dropped in - only to find myself desperately trying to stay afloat.

The move they did over and over was a cross body lead, ending with a dip. Guess what - I didn't know how to do a dip.

Even worse, I couldn't even do the cross body lead, because they were dancing On2!

It turns out the fault was mine. I went back and read the leaflet a second time, and it clearly stated that it an On2 Mambo workshop. But even if it had been On1 Salsa, I still would have had problems without knowing how to do a dip.

I absolutely hate the emphasis that is placed in "patterns" in salsa classes. I was lucky in that early on I found a teacher who focused on individual movements instead of patterns. After almost 8 years of doing this I still basically do the same 5-8 movements or variations of and mix and match.
As a beginner you should focus on timing, connection, and the following movements.

1) Right hand turn
2) cross body lead
3) left hand turn
4) Copa

Leading these well and knowing how to mix them together will put you ahead of 75% of the dancers out there.

Trying to remember a pattern is wasted effort on the brain. Learn the four movements and how to lead each after any of the others and guess what, you have 24 "patterns" of four moves.

If you are not lucky enough to find a teacher who places an emphasis on movements over patterns then just try to learn one or two of the moves in class well. You would be surprised how many "advanced" dancers would learn a move or two in a beginner or intermediate class.

Do as much social dancing as you can. Practicing the movements you have learned. There are plenty of really nice girls that while they might not dance with you all night will be happy to dance one or two songs a night with you.

Salsa Bear said:

I NEVER ask a woman who knows how to dance salsa to dance, because it's too humiliating.

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It's a lot easier to dance with people who're good dancers... maybe try the improving dancers?

Salsa Bear said:

Even rank beginners don't want to dance with another beginner after they've danced with a good dancer.

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Everyone can be fun to dance with, beginners just don't know it yet People seem to either get sympathetic, or snobby, once they improve past beginners. You'll get to know who is who

Salsa Bear said:

Once I asked a lady to dance, and she said no. I then overheard her telling her friend that she was waiting for a chance to dance with some guy - one of the regulars - who's a really smooth dancer.

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That's ok, you'll find yourself doing the same thing in a year from now... avoiding eye contact with others so you're free, whilst still watching for the arrival of that one filly that you absolutely love dancing with

Salsa Bear said:

One thing that freaks me out is the fact that I just don't get it. I don't really know how to ask someone to dance

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Ohh, this one is easy Just give them your hand a smile at them. Seemed like a 'rude' concept when I first started, but it's loud out there, so it's an accepted norm You can always try all of those cool lines that you've seen in movies when you're a bit more confident

Salsa Bear said:

If she's advanced, then I should say, "Sorry, you're too good for me."

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You won't get better by dancing exclusively with beginners, you're going to have to suck it up sooner or later. There are moves that beginners simply don't know how to follow yet, you'll be able to practice those with them.

Salsa Bear said:

"What would you like me to do? Do you like lots of turns, cumbia or anything in particular?

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You're the man, sometimes you just have to act like it... the surprise of what's ahead might be half the fun for that girl!

Salsa Bear said:

The irony is that I haven't figured out yet if I even enjoy salsa.

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Yes you have

salsamarty said:

Everyone here has gone through beginners salsa anxiety.

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Definitely :cheers:

GForce85 said:

I remember when I was at about 6 mos experience I had to stop learning moves for a while to give my brain a chance to catch up with the ones I already knew.

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I find that every now and then I still have to do this, otherwise some things just get 'lost'.

Don't worry about people watching you; remember who you watch when you go dancing...? You watch the really good dancers, right? Well, everyone else is generally doing that too

See if you can find a practice partner... someone who regularly takes the same classes as you, that you get along with. Maybe an hours practice before class? Makes a huge difference

vin said:

As a beginner you should focus on timing, connection, and the following movements.

1) Right hand turn
2) cross body lead
3) left hand turn
4) Copa

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I am surprised that the Copa is included as a fundamental move for beginners/improvers. I consider it to be a move that is far from straightforward to lead clearly. There are numerous other moves I would consider to be both more important and less difficult.

malcolm said:

It's a lot easier to dance with people who're good dancers... maybe try the improving dancers?
Everyone can be fun to dance with, beginners just don't know it yet People seem to either get sympathetic, or snobby, once they improve past beginners. You'll get to know who is who

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Well, this has turned into an interesting weekend. I went to one of my two favorite salsa venues on Friday, but it was a bust - not more than a dozen people there, apparently due to Halloween weekend celebrations.

The next night I went to my other favorite venue. It was about the best night I've ever seen there - just enough people to make it lively without being at all crowded. Unfortunately, it was more of a couples night; I didn't dance once.

So I went back today and had quite a surprise. I actually danced three times, tying my previous record. But the third dance was with my idol. I've seen her attending these same venues every night for the last few months. She's one of the best dancers, with a unique and lively style, and she's constantly flashing the most beautiful smile.

My dream was to ask her to dance some day when I'm on something approaching her level. But she walked into the ballroom today, sat down right next to me and no one immediately asked her to dance, so I went for it.

I thought she was a Latina, but it turns out she's from Japan. I asked her where she took classes to get so good, and she said she's taking classes from a guy from New York, apparently an On2 dancer. So now I understand why her style is so unique.

It was obvious she didn't really enjoy dancing with me; she never flashed her beautiful smile. I met another guy who said he danced with her one time and had the same experience; she doesn't like dancing with beginners.

But she was polite, and I felt like dancing with her somehow broke the ice. I probably won't ask her to dance again unless I acquire a few more skills, but dancing her was one of the best experiences I've had in the six months I've been dancing (or watching) salsa...one of the best experiences in my life, actually.

I also figured out how to film videos/movies with my new digital camera, so I'm all ready for my first private lesson tomorrow.

John S2 said:

I am surprised that the Copa is included as a fundamental move for beginners/improvers. I consider it to be a move that is far from straightforward to lead clearly. There are numerous other moves I would consider to be both more important and less difficult.

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I was introduced to the Copa just last week. It seemed fairly simple, though I never fully got it. It's one of the moves I hope to nail during my private lesson tomorrow.

Remember, salsa dancing is hard because it's worth it (bit like marriage ).

malcolm said:

Remember, salsa dancing is hard because it's worth it (bit like marriage ).

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Yes. Sometimes, the complexity of the dance, music and social scene have me pulling my hair out. But when I think about how simple it would all be if I was instead dancing the waltz, I think...YUCK.

I agree that the copa is difficult to do correctly. But I still think it is important to work on it. Just because something is hard doesn't mean one shouldn't try to master it, even at the beginner level.