Anxiety when social dancing with intermediates

S

sjgot1

As a male dancer, I currently take intermediate lessons weekly and an not too bad with these. With social dancing I'm less expereienced though. I feel comfortable dancing with beginners and doing the basic stuff. Though when I try some of the harder moves (i.e. intermediate) with more experienced dancers, I feel pressure on the dance floor, a bit like sitting an exam at uni.

In particular, I feel that I don't have much to contribute to girls' dance experience at this higher level, especially as many of the social dancers are regulars and really seem comfortable with the harder stuff.

To help ovrecome this fear of the next level, I'm going to increase my frequency of social dancing e.g. weekly. :D

Greatful for any other suggestions and glad to be sharing my Salsa experiences with others.

sjgot1::confused:
 
I wouldn't call it anxiety - you are just being realistic and considerate!

I am in a similar situation: I know that my repertoire and my level of sabor in the slot styles is not yet at the level of certain very experienced followers.
Hence, by and large I tend to leave them alone and spend the bulk of my time dancing with people at intermediate level and below.

However, just as I dance with beginners I do occasionally ask much better followers for a dance. As long as I don't ask them several times a night or every single week I know that they don't mind and they might actually feel pleased that they are helping me up the learning curve.

Make sure that you don't become obsessed with moving on to the next level.
Enjoy what you have achieved so far and give yourself credit for the fact that there are more and more girls who are smiling when they dance with you :)
 
sjgot1 said:
To help ovrecome this fear of the next level, I'm going to increase my frequency of social dancing e.g. weekly. :D

Greatful for any other suggestions and glad to be sharing my Salsa experiences with others.
Click to expand...

It's good that you want to go out for more social dancing as it's a major component in learning to dance salsa. Classes can only provide you with the tools, ie. the technique and a new move, but social dancing is where you get to use the tools and really see how to apply them to the music and to the various partners.

So in this regard you might want to take a look at these old threads:

Lead Your Partner, Not Patterns!
Salsa leaders - your golden rules
got a good (and challenging routines) for me to start off with to lean social dancing
 
you must let go of the insecurity as the girls can smell it and they will not take prisoners.

Lol. Just kidding. My GF was just re-iterating this point that is mentioned several times on the forums but that guys never truly believe until they don't need the advice any more:

It's not what you do, it whether you do what you do well.

So you only need a couple of moves, but do them confidently and give the lady space to express herself. Enjoy and show appreciation for what she brings to the dance. Most dancers will enjoy such a dance.

Like in my signature "impress her with how well she dances" so feel out her strengths and give her more of that. Even if she can tell that you are a limited dancer she'll be like "that guy's only got about 5 move but he make you feel all red wine and roses".
 
Hey sjgot1,
Dancing level in salsa world is very situation specific. You might get really good in your area some day.. But when you travel out to the congress, you will feel the same way you are feeling now. Then what?? push yourself more to get better and better???

Eddie Torres once told me this.. "There will always be someone who is better than you. So, don't worry about that. For now, Just enjoy the dance".
 
Also, no matter what your level, some women will enjoy dancing with you and some won't. And some women will decide you're better after they see you dancing with some of the other good follows. Sometimes I think there's more psychology involved than actual dance skill.:-)
 
Everyone has encountered this at some point, with more dancing comes more confidence is what I have found. If you have the ability it will shine through as you become more at ease!
 
michaelsalsa said:
Everyone has encountered this at some point, with more dancing comes more confidence is what I have found. If you have the ability it will shine through as you become more at ease!
Click to expand...

Very true. Also, being a nice person, showing enthusiasm, and working to improve will help a lot with the women in your local scene, regardless of your actual talent.
 
Have to agree with swaevo again here - it's not how many moves you know, but how well you lead them. I'd much rather dance with a beginner/improver who is having fun and is obviously happy to dance with me, than a self-proclaimed intermediate/advanced patternmonkey, who is trying to impress me with his fancy moves which he can't execute properly...

Most people out there on the dance floor are there to have fun, so if you express your joy for dancing and share that with your partner by smiling and connecting with her, even an advanced dancer will be happy to dance with you. Infact, many advanced dancers are happy to dance with people much under their own level, just because there they can relax a little and just enjoy simple moves that don't require their full attention all the time. So just relax with them and enjoy having someone who is easy to lead :D
 
I_love_salsa said:
I find salsa toughens you up. :D In the beginning, you ponder about every rejection, but when you dance long enough you find yourself spending less and less time thinking about the reasons behind it.
...
Life will probably teach you a similar lesson, but it usually takes a bit longer till you get to this epiphany.
Click to expand...

This is a really good observation! And for me, at least, it's a lesson that regular life never taught me.
 
I have a different sort of anxiety. I travel a lot for work so I have tasted the salsa scene in many different cities. Not all countries speak the same language. There have been occasions where guys have come up to me, said something, but I am not sure if he is asking me to dance or not. I usually have to try to read their body language.

My co-worker often jokes about a time we were in Russia together. He said "that guy with the Armani shirt came up to you and asked if you wanted a drink. You grabbed him and through him into a tantalizing cha cha. He didn't know what hit him and he still does not know if you want a drink or not" ;)
 
kerry.alder said:
My co-worker often jokes about a time we were in Russia together. He said "that guy with the Armani shirt came up to you and asked if you wanted a drink. You grabbed him and through him into a tantalizing cha cha. He didn't know what hit him and he still does not know if you want a drink or not" ;)
Click to expand...

:):) Poor fellow!
I thought the universal way to ask for a dance was to extend your hand. But once when I did it, the woman looked puzzled, then shook it and introduced herself.
 
SJgot1,
Don't think about it as if you don't have anything to contribute to a follow's dance experience ( unless it's a girl that rolls her eyes and looks absolutely bored dancing with you, AVOID). I consider myself intermediate, my take is if my lead is learning and keeps the dance very simple I work on my basic and practice adding a little bit of style or simple footwork.
All intermediate dancers were beginners and needed the extra push to get better.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top